“Start where you are, Use what you have, Do what you can” – Arthur Ashe
It feels like you’re in a fast car, you’re neither the driver, nor the passenger. You want to slow down, feel relief, but you can’t locate the brake. Everything feels like effort.
And you wait for things to change.
But nothing feels like it’s changing and the suffering continues.
The reality is you are waiting for something around you to change. You wait for your spouse to change, your child’s behaviour to improve, your boss to disappear and take that holiday, your friendship to reconcile. You hope that some day, things will be different, that you will be different. You wait and wait and as you wait you suffer.
The question is when is enough suffering ever enough?
Temporary relief comes and goes. The more you wait for someone or something around you to change, the more your suffering continues. You may know this, and the very knowing makes it all the more difficult to accept what you have to deal with right now. The knowing alone is not enough to stop the anxiety, the stress, the suffering. The more you resist what you are experiencing, the more the suffering persists.
So what can you do?
Start with the intention to be more compassionate towards yourself.
Just for today ask yourself these three questions:-
- Today, can I postpone my waiting for others to change/my situation to change?
- Can I acknowledge my contribution to where I find myself right now and let it go?
- Right now what can I do for myself that can help me feel better?
When dealing with overwhelming emotions we don’t see anything or anyone clearly. We don’t see ourselves.
We can however always start somewhere. Start today with acknowledging where you are right now. Start today with using any resources you have to support yourself. Start today with extending some compassion towards yourself. Your suffering is asking you to pay attention to yourself, to start again with yourself.
It is never too late.
If you are struggling with finding some direction in your life right now and would like some support and help, you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org